Mummer? I don't even KNOW her!

Today, I was once again introduced by awkward encounter to a Philadelphia tradition, namely the Mummers Parade. The sequential rambling of my internal monologue went a little something like this:

1. Hey, I'd like to go to Target today. Great, a car's available!
2. Hmmm, there sure are a lot of horn sounds in the distance-- bad traffic on New Years Day?
3. Wow, that fat guy with a mustache is wearing a purple silk dress and make-up. Huh.
4. Wow, so are 800 of his friends
5. Um, this parade route is blocking access to the car. It looks like I need to tack on an extra hour to my car reservation to account for all the extra circling I'm going to have to do
6. Is it just me, or does it smell more like stale beer and cigarettes than usual today?

Happy new years, readers!