Writers' Block

I've been asked to write a recap of Costa Rica for the Wharton Journal. It's supposed to be 600 words and I'm allowed to mock people and fill it with inside jokes. What should I do? I give you guys all my good stuff. People got drunk a lot. Second years (experiencing senioritis) were outlandish and inappropriate with us. Our guys caught four giant tuna, which we ate raw and grilled. There was a Burger King in town which was literally a truck. The one night we didn't go to a Wharton house party, we ended up with a bar which was crawling with Wharton people. I tried to surf and am covered in bruises as a result. On the second day, we ate a vodka watermelon outside and then a bird ate the leftovers. It behaved oddly for the rest of the day and then wouldn't leave our backyard for the rest of the trip. Is this an article yet?